In a new interview with Kerrang Magazine, Korn guitarist Brian “Head” Welch recalled the terrible days he lived in his past. According to him, he told himself that suicide is a good choice and that it would be good to just sleep forever. But luckily, he saved himself from those thoughts.

Recalling those terrible days, Korn guitarist said that he was trying to seclude himself away from everybody who used drugs and alcohol. Later, he expressed that he went into depression because his wife left him and their daughter but he knew that he has to get himself right for his kid.

After his words, the interviewer asked, “Is that what spurred you on to quitting the drink and drugs, or did you go back to it?”, Head said he went back, adding:

“This family were really good friends of mine and they helped take my daughter in, because what am I gonna do when I go on tour with Korn?

“They had kids of a similar age to her, so she’s taken care of, she’s going to school, but I’ll pay for her lifestyle and be with her when I come home, but I don’t have to worry as much.”

Later, he remembered his starting drugs and alcohol again.

“That’s when I started drinking again and it got bad to the point where I went from pill addiction – taking dozens of Vicodin a day, taking Xanax every day, drinking every day – to doing coke again. A lot.

“I just went further into it. I started getting suicidal, like, ​’What if I ended it all? What if I died from drugs?’ I was mixing coke and Xanax all the time, and we’d had friends who died from that.

“Then I started telling myself that it’d be really good to just sleep forever, you know? Never having to wake up and worry about hating myself, being weak or being a shitty dad. Then I got back into crystal methamphetamines and it got really bad.

“I did crystal meth every day for two years. That’s when I had the dramatic change. I so wanted to end it all that I went to the last place that I wanted to go, I went to hang out with the people that I despised most – which was Christians.

Korn’s guitarist concluded by recalling how he saved himself from drugs and bad habits.

“I thought all Christians were like Ned Flanders, but these people started coming into my life, and one person was the opposite of Ned. This guy was Christian but also the cool guy in town, he built monster cars and hotrods.

“He invited me to go to church and that’s when I opened myself up like, ​’OK, I’m going to start praying and see if this works. I’m weak, I’m a loser, I’m a horrible dad and I can’t stop on my own.’ And it worked.”

Click here for the interview.